When Someone Stares at You… What Story Do You Tell Yourself?
I met a woman recently who shared something tender with me. As we talked, she revealed that she feels self-conscious about her body. When she notices people staring at her, her mind immediately fills in the blanks—and not in a kind way.
Maybe you can relate.
What do you think when you catch someone staring at you?
Usually, our thoughts jump straight to the negative:
“They’re staring at me because I’m too tall.”
“They’re staring at me because I’m too big.”
“They’re staring at me because my shirt doesn’t fit right.”
“They’re staring at me because they think they’re better than me.”
Isn’t it interesting how quickly our brains assume something is wrong? In a split second, anxiety shows up.
Our stress response kicks in.
And suddenly, a simple moment becomes a story of shame, comparison, or self-doubt.
But here’s the truth we often miss: Sometimes… we aren’t even being stared at.
I catch myself staring into space all the time—lost in thought, replaying a conversation, dreaming about what’s next, or simply enjoying the moment. It has nothing to do with the person in front of me. And yet, that person could easily assume the
So, what if we shifted the story we tell ourselves?
What if, instead, we chose a more generous interpretation?
“They’re staring at me because I look cute today.”
“They’re staring at me because I look confident.”
“They’re staring at me because my shoes are fabulous.”
“They’re staring at me because my earrings are gorgeous.
”Here’s what I know for sure—especially for influencers, leaders, speakers, and business owners:
There are a million reasons someone might be looking at you.
Maybe they love your sweater
.Maybe they admire your presence.
Maybe they’re inspired by your confidence.
Maybe they’re wishing they had the courage you carry so naturally.
And yes—maybe they’re just daydreaming about what’s for dinner.
But when we assume the worst, we steal joy from the present moment and hand our power over to a story that may not even be
So, this week, if you catch someone staring at you…Pause. Take a breath. Assume the best.
Let it be a compliment. Then move on with your beautiful, purpose-filled day. Don’t worry so much about what people think—most of the time, they’re not thinking what we imagine anyway.
Reflection Questions for You:
What story do you usually tell yourself when you feel seen or noticed by others?
How might your confidence—and your leadership—shift if you assumed the best instead of the worst?
Where in your life right now are you letting perception steal your peace?
You were Created to Stand out, Shine and Be Seen for all the Gifts you have to share with the world!
