Kindness Wins: Why I’ll Always Lead with Hope, Not Fear
This week, I shared a video about leading with love instead of fear. A visit to the dermatologist reminded me why that message matters—not just in sales, but in every interaction where someone is trusting us with a decision.
After years in sales, I’ve noticed how often people try to persuade with fear:
“If you don’t buy this, your marriage could fall apart.”
“If you don’t buy this, you’ll never lose weight.”
“If you don’t buy this, your business will never succeed.”
“If you don’t buy this, you’ll never become a professional speaker.”
Fear can create urgency. But pressure may get someone to say yes in the moment without giving them a reason to trust you afterward.
I’ve always preferred a different approach. I want to share what might be possible, explain what I value about a product or service, and help someone decide whether it’s right for them. I’m a hope dealer. I believe in what’s possible, even when life is hard. I don’t want to persuade by making someone feel more anxious than they already do.
A couple of years ago, I went to a dermatologist for a routine checkup. I had a spot on my shoulder that had been there for as long as I could remember. It hadn’t changed, but the doctor strongly urged me to have it removed and described frightening possibilities if I didn’t. I left feeling more scared than supported. I decided I wouldn’t go back.
This week, I finally made another appointment because I had a different spot on my leg that I wanted checked. I wasn’t sure what it was. I have sensitive skin, and sometimes even a small irritation can look dramatic to me. I just wanted someone to take a look.
The dermatologist was warm, funny, and kind. She explained what concerned her and what she was looking for. She respected that it was my body and my decision. She made me laugh, helped distract me during the procedure, and made me feel safe enough to ask questions.
She removed the spot on my leg. It didn’t hurt. And by the time we’d talked for a while, I felt comfortable enough to ask her to remove the old spot on my shoulder, too—even though I’d gone in hoping she wouldn’t need to.
That experience reminded me: kindness changes how people feel while they’re making a decision. It can help someone feel seen, respected, and safe. It can turn a stressful appointment into a human connection.
I know medical decisions are personal, and I’m not offering medical advice. I’m grateful I went in and had both spots checked. I’m sharing the experience because the way we communicate matters—especially when someone is already worried.
People often arrive with their own fears and worst-case scenarios playing in their minds. Whether we work in healthcare, sales, coaching, or another service profession, we can take care not to make that fear worse. We can explain clearly, answer questions, and respect the person in front of us.
You might close a sale with pressure. But pressure alone won’t build the kind of trust that creates a lasting relationship. If we want lifelong clients and genuine connections, we need to care more about the person we’re serving than about closing the deal.
So here’s a question for all of us: When we’re trying to persuade someone, are we leading with fear or with hope? With intimidation or with kindness?
Kindness wins. And a little humor and human connection can make a hard moment feel lighter, too.
